Tuesday, December 20, 2016

My Heart Says “OUCH” This Really Hurts!!!  - November 28, 2016

Yesterday we had just got done teaching this family about charity when their cat walked by with an iguana in its mouth. The cat ate the entire iguana as I yelled, "That's not charity!"

I don't know who drinks out of my water bottle more, me or little children?

This last week has actually been really tough on me. I've just had this physical weight in my heart all week long. Every night I found myself falling to my knees in the bathroom in prayer. I don't know how to put into words how I have felt lately but I am going to try right now.

When I first got to the mission I wondered "when is this pain going to end??!" Seriously I thought I'm never going to like this… but somewhere between 2 weeks, to 9 months, to being in my last change I've fallen in love with my mission. Which is absolutely crazy to me because Ecuador has been a place of SO many trials yet somewhere between the poverty, the humility, and the insanity I've found what it means to really believe in God. What it means to really trust in God. And the joy of seeing someone come to understand it as well.

My whole mission I never really heard a missionary talk about the going home process because the "trunky" jokes literally NEVER end. When I first got to the mission I received a booklet that says "Adjusting to missionary life" but now I am like I need an "Adjusting to your last 6 weeks and HELP I am not ready to go home in a month" booklet. But one thing I have learned in the mission is the more things you try to control the more out of control you feel. In a few short weeks, this part of my life is going to come to an end and that makes my heart do that "ouch this really really really hurts!" thing.

Sometimes it amazes me how our hearts are capable of feeling so many things! But there is one person who is capable of calming all those feelings and that is our Savior Jesus Christ. So here I am writing you from behind a computer screen in the coast of Ecuador trying to put into words this journey I have been on. What Ecuador has done to me, what my mission had done for me, what Christ has done for me to save me. There really aren't words, just a lot of feelings. Some happy :) some super super happy! And some a little sad. But if we never knew sadness we would never know Joy. I won't stop working these last few weeks. I won’t give up! I won’t stop fighting! I know Elena will get baptized but in the Lords timing. I know there will be good days and better days, hard days and sad days but the point is that every day that ends with talking to God is a day well lived.

I know without a doubt that my mission is the best decision I have ever made. I love Ecuador, I love these people, and I love Jesus Christ!

Con Amor Hermana Israelsen

No comments:

Post a Comment